Pic by garlandcannon @ Flickr
Hello all, remember me? The one who glibly assured you that I’d be posting more this year? Well, I have been better, but time slips by, and well, you know…
The charming Daphne Wayne-Bough has obviously noted that this blog has been emptier than the manifesto of the British National Party, and has provided me with a nicely done piece. The position of guest blogger is still open if anyone else fancies a go, by the way. Oh, and do visit Daphne’s blog if you get the opportunity – it’ s slightly bonkers, but in a good way. Here, then, Daphne’s opus:
Hasbro’s Scrabble Plus computer game is a goldmine for wordsmiths. Its
built-in dictionary encompasses American, Australian, South African and Scots
dialect, as well as every technical dictionary known to man, and then some
I think it just makes up as it goes along. It does allow you to
check if you suspect it of cheating. Every fish (of which there are
25,000 in the world), mammal, rock, archaeological term, dance move,
cloud formation, generic drug, mathematical term and paint colour in
the WORLD is in the Scrabble dictionary. It’s like playing against
Stephen Fry.
The Grammar Nazi, who always manages to sneak up behind me when I am
playing against the computer, rails and rants that
abbreviations, initials, exclamations, proper nouns, foreign words,
slang or acronyms shouldn’t be allowed. And words he has never heard of.
According to the Wikipedia definition:
“Acronyms or abbreviations, other
than those that have been regularized (such as AWOL, RADAR, and SCUBA),
are not allowed. Variant spellings, slang or offensive terms, archaic or
obsolete terms, and specialized jargon words are allowed if they meet
all other criteria for acceptability.”
I’m more sanguine. It’s the computer’s game. I have to learn to play by its rules. But that
doesn’t mean it always wins…
AA
If you thought Aardvark was the first word in the dictionary, you now
stand corrected. It is Aa. Aa (pronounced with two syllables, like
ah-ah) is rough cindery lava found in Hawaii. Hawaii being part of the
USA, I guess that means all Hawaiian words are acceptable. Does this
apply to Native American languages? Of which there are nearly 300
north of Mexico.
AW
This, apparently, is Scots for “all”. Now I don’t mind common Scots
words such as “Bampot” or “Gobshite”, but the computer seems to take the
view that if it’s in print somewhere, it’s a word, and so every mickle word that
Rabbi Burns ever put down on paper is fair game.
AY
Ever. Scots, again.
DOH
A deer, a female deer.
ER
Expression of hesitation.
FE
Means the same as fee, don’t argue, it just is.
GI
I got the GN on this one. He thought it was G.I. (as in American
soldier) but I knew it was the Japanese word for karate pajamas (being
the Word Geek that I am, I once compiled a list of 50 Japanese words
that everyone should know). Which brings us to whether a foreign word
in common usage is allowed? Computer says hai karate.
LITE
Now I would have bought this if it had said “sugar-free” as in Coke
Lite. But it thinks Lite is the opposite of dark. And to compound
matters it adds Liten, Liteness, Litenesses, Litening, and Litely. The
GN goes purple and hops about with rage, and it sure ain’t English, but I will use
it if I get a chance.
NAH
Expression of denial. See NO, NAW.
PARA
This, it says is an abbreviation of Paratrooper. The GN feels that this
is an abbreviation and therefore should not be allowed. I detect an increasingly anti military tone to his objections.
PARAE
A type of fish. You’ll have to take my word on this one.
RAH
A cheer. As in rah rah rah.
QUOP
I had a Q, an O and a blank, and there was a triple word square and a
double letter square lined up over a P. It was too tempting not to
chance my arm. Q*OP! 72 points! The most I have EVER scored in
Scrabble. The Scrabble dictionary said quop was a verb, meaning to
throb or pulsate. It turns out it was ONCE used by James Joyce, in
Ulysses: ”His heart quopped.” Now just because James Joyce made up a
word, does that make it a real word? In which case we can really have
some fun. I would tend to agree with the GN on this one, but 72
points – brillig!
ZO
A Tibetan breed of cattle, also spelled ZHO. Now I would have had this down as a proper noun, but who am I to argue with Deep Thought?
It’s a whole new world of words at Hasbro.
Daphne Wayne-Bough
Nice one Daffers, but I’m right with the Grammar Nazi on Hasbro’s bollocky choices.
One of my faves is ‘gu’, which, when looked up, is a version of ‘gju’. Eh?
When you look up ‘gju, it turns out to be a violin used in Shetland. Well, I never…
For the record, t’other night I bagged 73 with ‘austere’ on a triple and followed it up with a nifty 86 for ‘demeanor’. The ‘o’ was already down and temptingly close to the central triple on the top line. Of course, fifty of that score was for using up all my seven letters, but there was a satisfyingly stunned silence at the other end of t’internet.
I was getting stuffed up til that point… It was a sort of Man United extra time winner.
So that makes you the Ole Gunnar Solskaer of Scrabble ? Ach you Scotsmen … To play Scrabble properly you need an old-fashioned tabletop set. Unless anyone knows an electronic version with “British” rules? I don’t think I want to play against you, you’re obviously out of my league.
Ole Gunnar Solskaer’s a Scotsman??!
I can only express my dismay at Tony using an American spelling to get 73 points. Tsk, tsk. I fear Daffers, that, although you very kindly contributed this piece, I’m with Tony and the GN. Of course Solskaer’s a Scot – Like Ole McDonald.
Oh fer fuck’s sake Mallett. Solskaer always came on in extra time and scored the winning goal, or have you forgotten? I never understood why he was always on the bench, that little lad was brilliant. ScotsMEN referred to you and the Grammar McNazi. Keep up, man, keep up.
And yes of course you’re with Mallett and the GN, Tom. Can’t breathe for the testosterone in here.