She was only…

Ah, the irresistible urge of a cheap sexual innuendo! My somewhat lax attempts at researching the origins of this particular form drew a big fat zero. My guess would be the music hall, vaudeville and burlesque shows of England and the US (back in the time when we shared a similar sense of humour). The basis of the gag is simple – puns, wordplay and, of course, a cheap sexual gag disguised as something more innocent. Regular readers will know what a fan of the Blackadder comedies I am, so I was particularly pleased with a wonderful non sequitur from Hugh Lawrie in Blackadder Goes Forth:”She was only the ironmonger’s daughter but she knew a surprising amount about fish as well”.

So, just for a bit of fun and some cheap laughs, here’s a few of my favourites:

She was only an RSM’s daughter but she made the privates stand to attention

She was only a ornithologist’s daughter but she’d seen a cockatoo

She was only a cattleman’s daughter but she couldn’t keep her calves together

She was only a fishmonger’s daughter but she’d lay on the slab and say “fillet”

She was only a road worker’s daughter but she liked her asphalt

She was only a bookmaker’s daughter but she came home at ten to one

She was only an undertaker’s daughter but anyone cadaver

She was only a barman’s daughter but she pulled the wrong knob and got stout

She was only a Northerner’s daughter but she liked her ‘uddersfield

She was only a flag-bearer’s daughter but she knew how to lower her standards

I could go on (and probably will, but not here). You get the idea, I’m sure. If you have a favourite, feel free to chip in.