Bollock, Ballock

Posted by Tom Joad on Jan 10, 2008 | 3 comments

Now, when I was a smallish lad, the common form of spelling for this particular item was ballock. It may have been the region in which I was brought up but over the years, the spelling has been replaced in popularity by bollock. I could find no etymology for the word but recorded use dates back to at least the early 17th century.

I should perhaps explain what it means (to those of you who may be unaware). It is a very British swear word, used also in Ireland and the Antipodes. It means, quite simply, a testicle. I say simply because in the right hands (no pun intended) it can be one of the most versatile words available if you’re feeling a bit sweary. To avoid having to double up with descriptions, I shall be using the modern spelling in most examples given here. Normally, as one might expect, the word is pluralized – hardly surprising as they normally appear in pairs.

Let’s start with the Irish. They use it in a slightly different context (and often a different spelling) to the British. It is generally used to refer to a stupid, ignorant or irritating person (often male). For example, one might say of someone “Yer man there – jeez what a bollox” or “the stupid bollix only went and told me mam”. You will note the spelling can be somewhat different. It also sounds fantastic when they say it as the accent gives it a real resonance.

In English, it does have at least one acceptable usage (normally as ballock). In nautical terms, it’s the block attached to a topsail yardarm to hold rigging into place. No, I have no idea what a topsail yardarm is either – no letters, please.

So onto the fun stuff. To drop a bollock is synonymous with dropping a clanger, a brick or similar. It means one has made a grave error of judgement or maybe a huge social gaffe.

It can mean simply a mess (as in a poor state of affairs). “That’s just bollocks” or “bollocks to that” are common uses. As an adjective, it can be used to describe a state of undress “did you see that? He was stark bollock naked”.

It can be used also as an intensifier “to ____ one’s bollocks off”. Just replace the blank space with words such as laugh, work or sweat and you’re away!

Finally, an important point to remember. To say something is “bollocks” means it is generally not regarded as a good thing. However, to call something “the bollocks” means it is very good indeed. This is a simple contraction of the phrase “the dog’s bollocks” which of course stems from the unnatural interest dogs seem to have in their own and other dogs’ testicles.

So, used judiciously, it can be a real gold mine of expressive (and reasonably mild) swearing. Best to practice with friends if you are unsure and probably best avoided completely in public speaking engagements or at midnight mass. Let’s be safe out there.