Awright me ol’ chinas, come an’ read abaht stuff like rhymin’ slang, cockney roots an’ just ge’ a bi’ a cultcha.
Phew! Just like Talk Like a Pirate Day, I can’t keep it up – although it is, in part, where some of my original accent comes from. I am not a cockney – my true accent is part rural market town and part Estuary English (which I will come on to shortly). I am now reduced to attempting to “talk proper” as I have to converse with people whose first language is not English on a regular basis – but then it’s to be expected if you live in a country where people think you lazy for only speaking two languages. Every so often, I drop my guard and revert back to my true accent, which leaves the poor natives of Belgium staring at me in the way a German Shepherd dog does when you whistle at it – head to one side, mouth slightly open. Apologies in advance, people of Belgium for any future transgressions.
On with the point. A cockney is one who was born within the sound of Bow Bells. More accurately, this is an area of London called Cheapside and the bells in question being those of the Church of St Mary-le-Bow. This complicates who cab and cannot be a cockney, because if you go to London these days, you can’t more than around 100 metres away because it’s so bloody noisy. There was also a period of 20 years when the bells didn’t sound at all (1941 – 1961). The bells were destroyed by German bombers in World War II and were not replaced until 1961. This means that there were no “true” cockneys for 20 years. These days, it’s more about geography than campanology (see what I did there?). The word itself has disputed etymology. The most popular explanation is put forward by the Oxford English Dictionary, that it is a corrupted form of a 14th century term meaning “cock egg” or a misshapen or substandard egg and that it was used in a pejorative sense. If anyone can tell me what the hell they are on about, I’d be happy to hear it. A note on the accent: It’s not how Dick van Dyke portrayed it in Mary Poppins. Even the man himself acknowledges it on the most recent DVD release. Americans please take note!
The cockney accent is particularly famous for its construction. The H is dropped from the beginning of words (‘otel, ‘orse, ‘ospital) and the vowel sounds are often lengthened (abaaht for ‘about, laaht for ‘lout and aahse for ‘house’ – confusingly lengthening the vowel and dropping the H at the same time). The ‘th’ sound is often replaced at the beginning of a word by ‘f’ – so ‘three things’ becomes ‘free fings’. Another feature is the glottal stop. It’s a bit hard to write about really, as I don’t know how to explain if you haven’t heard it. If a T or double T is present in a the middle of a word, it is not pronounced, and the following vowel is modified. An example: the word ‘bottle’. The T’s are missed out completely and the word breaks into two distinct parts. Imagine saying the two syllables separately with a slight pause in between. It would go something like bo:aw – so you also get things like ke:aw (kettle) and Ba:aw of ‘Astin’s (Battle of Hastings – they drop the G at the end too). The funniest thing about the glottal stop is that a cockney would pronounce it with a glo:aw stop. Well, it amuses me anyway.
The other thing the cheeky cockney chappies are famous for is their rhyming slang. Whilst variants have existed in the past, a fair bit of “rhyming slang” these days is denounced by cockneys and scholars alike as cobbler’s (this is a real one – look it up). It certainly still exists in a form, but as it became more popular, people added their own and it has lost a lot of its original quirkiness. I’m not going to pad the space out here by supplying examples – just Google for “rhyming slang” and pick a page from the thousands of hits.
Estuary English: This term is used for what many non-Brits (and many Brits, for that matter) think is a cockney accent. The term was first used by a British linguist, David Rosewarne in the 80s to describe the blend of cockney and regional South-eastern English accents – such as those in Kent and West and East Sussex. The term derives from the ‘border’ of the two dialects, the Thames estuary and southwards. There are indeed many similarities between the two, but with certain distinguishing characteristics. The grammar in Estuary English tends to be more correct than the cockney and fewer non-standard constructs are used. The most notable differences are the pronunciation of ‘th’ as ‘v’ “vis don’t work” for ‘this doesn’t work” and the letter ‘l’ as ‘w’ – “vis is nice coow miwk” for “this is nice cool milk”. As I have mentioned, this is my real accent – only not as strong, so if you bump into me in a bar somewhere, bear with me – I may have dropped back into my old accent!
Last but not least, is my least favourite linguistic device. Celebrities trying to improve their “street credibility” may adopt a fake cockney accent. The term for this is “Mockney” – a portmanteau word from “mock” and “cockney”. Think Guy Richie, Lily Allen and not forgetting, of course, the master himself – Jamie bloody Oliver. I won’t go into a rant about JO here , as I don’t have enough time to describe how his fake accent nauseates me. I think you get the picture.
Sociologists, linguists and other clever types say that Estuary English/Cockney constructs will become the linguistic norm in 100 years or so. I hope not. I like being where I’m from but accents are fun and interesting. Will Self’s completely brilliant “Book of Dave” has a concocted language called “Mokni” which is a mix of cockney, cab driver’s slang, advertising jingles and Estuary English (among others) which highlights the potential problems. At a book signing he was talking about how his French translator had resigned rather than try to make sense of the Mokni language. He also says “Several of my Scandinavian translators have committed suicide – I don’t think that it relates particularly to working on my book”. You have been warned.
Orroit me aoul cock, aazit goin? Gorblimey yora roit geezer an nao mistike guv’nor!
I am a saahf landan gel meself, now you may or may not believe this but real Londoners can tell whether someone comes from norf of ve Thames or sahf of ve Thames by their accent. The north London accent is a purer Cockney, if you may call it that, nowhere near Dick Van Dyke but closer to Stanley Holloway (Eliza Doolittle’s dad) in “My Fair Lady”. The sahf London accent is twangier, more elastic and nasal, and first cousin to the Australian or Strine accent, due to the original settlers being inmates of Newgate prison in south London. Or so the legend goes.
I have never thought there was anything phoney about Jamie Oliver’s accent, he was brought up in a pub in Essex, how do you expect him to talk? The fakest accent belongs to Keith Richards who grew up in Dartford, right on the Thames estuary but affects a voice somewhere between LA and Kensington these days.
The corruption of the letter L into a W is known is slavonic linguistics as the “dark L” and is written with a diagonal line through it, hence Lech Walesa’s last name is pronounce “Vawensa”. A good example of Cockney usage would be how Gary in East Enders is often addressed as “Ga’w”, a local pronunciation of the diminutive “Gal”. East Enders is compulsory viewing for students of the cockney accent such as myself.
Rhyming slang, first developed as a secret code by London criminal classes to circumvent eavesdropping by the Bow Street Runners, or police, has kept up with the times. There are some very funny new ones, e.g. Davina McCalls – as in “I kicked him in the Davinas”. My personal favourite is “Septic Tank” for “Yank”, although it could have been used to describe self abuse as well I suppose. There’s a good website devoted to this here.
Azabaht a coupla Britneys down the old frog one of these days? I’ll wear me pearlie queen outfit and sing you a chorus of “Any Old Iron”.
Strewf Daffers – yer a right bleedin’ cockney sparra, incha?
Vis à vis Mr Oliver, I just think he lays it on a bit for the cameras. And he annoys me. His ‘lifestyle’ was contrived by his production company – as were his impossibly hip bunch of ‘friends’ and he just reeks of fake. I know he was born in Ess-ix, but there are people from there who irritate me less. In defence of Mr Richards, he probably hasn’t the faintest idea where he’s from anyway.
Interesting bit about the “dark l” – I often wondered why old Lech couldn’t pronounce his name properly. I know cockney contains a few references to Romany (kushti, wonga – even ‘chav’ – originally ‘boy’, ‘son’ or ‘mate’) but I wonder how it absorbed the slavic parts?
I have always referred to my hair as “barnet” and probably quite a few other things, as my parents used the terms, but I ain’t no Laandener – strictly Estry Inglish, jaa’imean? Anyways, I ‘ave to tawk proper nah, ‘cos it ain’t coow to tawk Estry in Belgium.
I’ve already got two guest bloggers roped in (Minky, Goth) – sure you don’t fancy a go?
I’ve often been accused of being a cockney, but this is usually by gormless northern types, who think anyone from the south is a cockney. I’m actually from the county town of the garden of England (pronounced May-stun), so there’s not much chance of hearing Bow bells. I used to think that I had an old-fashioned BBC accent, but someone recently said I sounded like Jonathan Woss, which I found vaguely depressing, even though it was meant as a compliment (apparently). I guess I’ve been more estuarized than I’d thought.
As far as fake accents go, Nigel Kennedy deserves a dishonourable mention. He sounded like a public-school boy (or a public schoolboy), which is not surprising as he was one, until he decided he wanted to sound common.
There’s another feature worth mentioning – not sure if it’s strictly “estuary”, “mockney”, modern cockney or “not common, not us” – that’s the over-aspirated “t” where old cockney would have had a glottal stop. My mother used to tell the tale of overhearing a mother trying to correct her child, who would keep saying “bu:ah” – “But–tah, it’s but–tah”; when the child finally said “But — tah”, sighed in relief “That’s be:ah”.
And I agree with you about Jamie Oliver. When I first heard him I felt sure his father must be at least a Rural Dean.
Jonathan Ross? He’s at least quirky, I suppose. I don’t see how it could be construed as a compliment as such! I often just say yes if people ask if I’m cockney because it’s far easier than trying to explain the backwater seaside town I come from (Eastbourne).
I forgot about our Nigel – I saw a clip of him once on some telly programme on which they had the ‘after’ and ‘before’ Kennedy. Quite a change from plummy schoolboy violinist to salt-of-the-earth cockney geezer in only a few years.
Hello Autolycus and welcome. Apologies for the tardy response but you were being moderated! It turns out you’re OK
Now you mention it, I know what you mean about the over-aspirated T. I have heard it for a number of years now, usually at the end of a word.
My mum used to make me say boTTle (liked the gag, by the way
) but herself used to say all sorts of things she wouldn’t want me saying. I think my first two words were ‘bleedin’ ‘ell’…
A couple of things I meant to mention, but forgot –
“loose” diphthong vowels (Eliza Doolittle’s “eeeow” sounds, “ay” sounding more like “aye” and so on): that’s something my mother was always going on about, but it may be more estuarine than “pure” cockney.
And do you remember the song For:y Fahzend Fevvers on a Fwush?
Blimey Auto – I seem to have tapped a vein here! I took a look at your site though, so I can see why. I don’t believe there is a “true” cockney accent any more. Whenever I venture to the big city I can definitely tell the difference between my accent and the “proper” London one – but I’m sure it’s different from how I remember it as a kid (some years ago).
Eastbourne? At least it wasn’t Hastings!
P.S. I struggled a bit to find the comment box, as there wasn’t a box around it. Still, I poked around randomly and found the right place in the end. It’s my standard approach for most things.
An approach we can all learn from, I feel.
Hastings is the next big thing, apparently. They have been saying that for the last, oh, thirty-odd years though.
Yep, there are a few issues with the new theme (two million ads where there should be one, crappy comment box et al.), but I think I quite like it. I tried to change the code but broke it horribly earlier. Anyone out there have a gift for PHP coding and want to help?